Matthew's stream of "consciousness"

Random Matthew story from this morning:

Matthew was talking about Teddy and told me, "Teddy smells like poop." (side note: We can use words like "poop" quite freely because we have two small children)

I told him that we do not talk like that, and that if he said it again that I would throw Teddy out the window.

He said, "but then I won't have a Teddy."

And I said, "That's right, so choose your words carefully. We don't talk like that."

To which he replied, "Well ... if you threw him out the window ... and he landed in the lake ... then I would go home and put on my swimsuit and go down to the water and jump right in ... well I would get in the safe way ... through the sand ... and I would have my goggles on .... and I would swim right down and pick Teddy out of the water .... and then I would dry him all off with my towel .... and take him back to my house ..."

Can't you just picture the random stream of consciousness? He just kept going on and on and on in the back seat on our drive into day care. I thought the tale would never end!

Teddy learns to email ...

When Arik has early meetings, the mornings tend to get interesting at our house. It is hard enough to get out the door with a shred of sanity when both of us are around - when it is just me ... watch out ...

Matthew wanted to bring Teddy to the car with us this morning. Not wanting yet another argument, I agreed it was a good idea. However, it is important to note the rules regarding bringing our "friends" to the car. The rule is that when we get to daycare that our "friends" remain in the car. They are not allowed to go into daycare.

He is usually pretty good about it, but we are talking about Matthew, so nothing is ever as simple as it should be. When we pulled up to daycare, I told him to give Teddy a hug and leave him in the car. Here is the hilarity that followed:

Matthew: "Mommy, is Teddy going to stay in the car all day?"
Me: "Yes honey. He is going to take a nice nap and be ready to play with you when I come to pick you up."
Matthew: "But Mommy ... you could take him into your work with you."
Me: "I could, but I think he is going to stay in the car all day. He looks pretty tired."
Matthew: "But Mommy ... if you take him into your work, he could sit with you at your desk."
Me: "Yeah ... but I think he would like it better in your seat all day."
Mattew: "Well ... you could teach him how to push the keys on your computer ... and he could send you an email or somethin'."
Me: "Well ... that would certainly be interesting, wouldn't it?"
Matthew: "Yeah ... Teddy is good at sending emails."

And that my friends and family ... was the start to my Tuesday. Enjoy your day! If you find any random emails in your inbox, perhaps they came from Teddy.

The Hanson entourage visits MOA

We had a rare Saturday evening with the kids (I know, we're spoiled by our parents), so we made a beeline for the Mall of America (I know, we're crazy). 

Surprised to see about 3.5 million other Minnesotans had the same idea. Geez, and here I thought we were in a recession. 

A few nuggets from the evening:

* Matthew loved the frog at Rainforest Cafe. Amy, not so much "Nooooooo" was heard anytime we got within 15 feet of the frog.

* Amy was enamored with Camp Nickelodeon, or whatever the theme park is called these days. Couldn't get enough of that big balloon.

* The over/under on how long our kids will sit at a table at eat dinner in a socially-appropriate manner: 16 minutes. One minute longer and we're talking major throw-yourself-on-the-soda-soaked-floor meltdown. You think I'm kidding?

* Amy--much like Matthew at a younger age--LOVES the escalator. The kid would ride it up and down all night if we let her. I'm not sure if it's the up-and-down motion or the metallic interlocking teeth that have the ability to suck her into the escalator. Either way, she loves it.

* Turns out Amy likes to throw shoes on the floor for some odd reason. No idea why, she just likes it. And I let her do it--much to the chagrin of the Footlocker staff.

* Amy loves dogs. Live ones, stuffed ones and pink ones in the Victoria's Secret foyer. Closed circuit to my daughter: That is the LAST time you will set foot in that store. Hope you enjoyed it.

He said WHAT?

Actual conversation between Angela and my son this morning.

Matthew: "Mommy ... what are you doing?"
Me: "Getting dressed."
Matthew: "What are those black things again?"
Me: "Tights. Remember, girls wear them under skirts or dresses."
Matthew: "Why are you pulling them up onto your tummy?"
Me: "Because, I have to pull them up to my waist, just like you pull your pants up to your waist. They are kind of like pants under a skirt."
Matthew: "Oh yeah ... when I grow up ... and when I'm a girl ... I am going to wear a skirt. I like skirts."
Me: "You are a boy, you will always be a boy."
Matthew: "NO! Not now! When I grow up and turn into a girl ... that is when I am going to wear tights and skirts."

So, not only does my son want/think he's going to turn into a girl at some point in his life, he also likes tights and skirts.

In the words of the Sports Guy, "I will now light myself on fire."

Joe Dirt, Elvis and Marty McFly at the Chili Open

After a week filled with runny noses, puking and minimal sleep this Dad needed a brief respite--even if it was just for a few hours on Saturday afternoon.

My refuge? The frozen tundra of Lake Minnetonka and the 25th annual Chili Open.

My partners in crime? My brother, my college friend, Dave Zuercher, and a few of my brother's friends.

For those outside MN, The Chili Open is a golf tournament played on the frozen waters of Lake Minnetonka (don't ask me why we play golf in MN in the month of February--it's pure lunacy). The chili is also a double reference to the weather and the multiple pots of chili you'll find throughout around the course. Each year, the tourney has a different theme--this year was filled with Hollywood references. As a result, Joe Dirt, Elvis, Beyonce and Rocky Balboa all made cameo appearances.

Conditions for this year's event were fair. Weather was favorable--highs in the upper 20s. However, greens only stimped out at about a 2 and the cups were cut a little rough (OK, I'll stop with the meaningless golf references). In any event, we had a great time and look forward to making this an annual event and growing the group next year.